Aver cura dei sentimenti. Una riflessione su genitori disorientati e disagio giovanile

Abstract

The family, since the beginning of life, represents the place in which the person is born; the starting point for his own place in the world; the physical and human space in which the process of awareness of the individual takes place; the basis on which the entire social building rests (Freire, 1968/2011; Pati, 2014; Rossi, 2015). Always origin and fulcrum of life of everyone’s, the family institution began, from the Sixties of the last century, a long and articulated process of morphogenesis, the outcome of a series of social events, historical and cultural – which have deeply affected its being – and, in turn, the architect of profound transformations in values and relationships.

In the society of uncertainty there seems to be no place for stability, for duration, for slow and dilated time (Bauman, 1999/2014; Galli, 2007); there is no time to devote to the education of children, more generally, to the care of relationships.

In this situation of frailty of human bonds (Bauman, 2003) we are also witnessing a profound crisis of social sentiments and, therefore, the need, inherent in every man and woman, of emotional sharing with the other person by himself.

The numerous episodes of news, frequently marked by acts of unprecedented violence and phenomena of anomy, up to the most important forms of rejection of life, represent, on the one hand, the tormented and uneasy cry of a generation perpetually anxious, perhaps on the run from the existence of which it is the protagonist and, on the other hand, denounce the absence – increasingly evident – of a sentimental education, capable of filling the relational and sentimental gap experienced by younger people. To be called into question are, then, mainly adults (Loiodice, 2019; Lopez, 2014) and, in particular, parents who, first, in turn, find themselves living in situations of great disorientation, resulted, above all, from the absence of reference models considered valid and the desire to seek and discover new forms of being father and mothers.

The contribution, therefore, intends to reflect, on the one hand, on the need, for fathers and mothers today, to commit themselves to the focus of a component, reflective parenting, able to propose clear value coordinates for the children of which it is responsible; and on the other hand, on the urgency, for sons and daughter, to receive an education of and to sentiments to learn to recognize, name and narrate their own emotional experience and avoid annihilating drifts (of the self and the other).

The family, since the beginning of life, represents the place in which the person is born; the starting point for his own place in the world; the physical and human space in which the process of awareness of the individual takes place; the basis on which the entire social building rests (Freire, 1968/2011; Pati, 2014; Rossi, 2015). Always origin and fulcrum of life of everyone’s, the family institution began, from the Sixties of the last century, a long and articulated process of morphogenesis, the outcome of a series of social events, historical and cultural – which have deeply affected its being – and, in turn, the architect of profound transformations in values and relationships.

In the society of uncertainty there seems to be no place for stability, for duration, for slow and dilated time (Bauman, 1999/2014; Galli, 2007); there is no time to devote to the education of children, more generally, to the care of relationships.

In this situation of frailty of human bonds (Bauman, 2003) we are also witnessing a profound crisis of social sentiments and, therefore, the need, inherent in every man and woman, of emotional sharing with the other person by himself.

The numerous episodes of news, frequently marked by acts of unprecedented violence and phenomena of anomy, up to the most important forms of rejection of life, represent, on the one hand, the tormented and uneasy cry of a generation perpetually anxious, perhaps on the run from the existence of which it is the protagonist and, on the other hand, denounce the absence – increasingly evident – of a sentimental education, capable of filling the relational and sentimental gap experienced by younger people. To be called into question are, then, mainly adults (Loiodice, 2019; Lopez, 2014) and, in particular, parents who, first, in turn, find themselves living in situations of great disorientation, resulted, above all, from the absence of reference models considered valid and the desire to seek and discover new forms of being father and mothers.

The contribution, therefore, intends to reflect, on the one hand, on the need, for fathers and mothers today, to commit themselves to the focus of a component, reflective parenting, able to propose clear value coordinates for the children of which it is responsible; and on the other hand, on the urgency, for sons and daughter, to receive an education of and to sentiments to learn to recognize, name and narrate their own emotional experience and avoid annihilating drifts (of the self and the other).